HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
Thanks for reading.
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We, in Ireland , can't figure out why you people are even bothering to hold an election in the United States.I find it hard to argue with this logic.
On one side, you had a pants wearing female lawyer, married to another lawyer who can't seem to keep his pants on, who just lost a long and heated primary against a lawyer, who goes to the wrong church, who is married to yet another lawyer, who doesn't even like the country her husband wants to run!
Now...On the other side, you have a nice old war hero whose name starts with the appropriate 'Mc' terminology, married to a good looking younger woman who owns a beer distributorship!!
What in God's name are ye lads thinkin over in the colonies!
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BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN McCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one!
SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because it wanted to see Russia, doggone it!
THE CAST OF MAMMA MIA!: Mamma Mia! Here we go again.
Thanks for reading.
1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
2. You have to believe that businesses create depressions and governments create prosperity.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law abiding Americans are more of a threat than Nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Iranians and North Korean communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex--in the face of all the cases of teacher sex abuse of children in the news.
9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of New York, Boston, San Francisco, or Portland do.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn esteem.
11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make 'The Passion of the Christ' for financial gain only.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and Alexander G. Bell.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge and not enough money was spent on its programs.
17. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.
18. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and in a normal marriage.
19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying transvestites in drag should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
20. You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States
21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right-wing conspiracy.
22. You have to believe that it's OK to give Federal workers the day off on Christmas Day, but it's not OK to say 'Merry Christmas.'
If you believe more than half of these statements are true, you are a Democrat and should vote democratic in the election November 4. However, if you believe more than half of these statements are false, then you should vote Republican in the election on November 4 as you have more in common philosophically with the Republican Party.
Thanks for reading.
Look for my cameo in this video at the end.
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2007 Advocate William Nealy, widely regarded as “Whitewater’s Poet Laureate,” was one of the best known ambassadors of the sport. He brought a self-deprecating sense of humor and wealth of practical knowledge to all of his work. He captured the essence of whitewater paddling and whitewater paddlers. The quality of his work transcends its subject, and remains an art form all its own.However, I DID get a chance to meet his widow, Holland Wallace; and last year I was entrusted with his complete archives to inventory, category, and display here at the Nantahala Outdoor Center.
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From time to time I will highlight issues that are important to me in various posts on this blog. If you believe they are important also and want to take action, then this is the place to start. Type in your zip code, find your local officials, and let them know how you feel and urge them to take action. Thanks for getting involved.
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This section will be an information link resource for useful sites about and concerning travel within all fifty states. My motivation for creating this section stems completely from my experiences and lack of preparedness for travel in Alaska in winter, even though I spent many hours researching all possible contingencies. It is obviously a work in progress, so please check back often, and if you have any questions or if there is anything that I can do to help you in this regard, please don't hesitate to email me or post a comment.