Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN McCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one!

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because it wanted to see Russia, doggone it!

THE CAST OF MAMMA MIA!: Mamma Mia! Here we go again.

Thanks for reading.

11 comments:

PaulsHealthBlog.com said...

I've seen this one before, but I still think it is a good one.

Spread the blame all around!

As for Barack Obama's comment, the chicken not only wants change, he wants ALL of your eggs so he can spread them around!

October 21, 2008 9:57 AM
Lynne said...

Excellent post! Very funny! Thanks for sharing. :-D

October 21, 2008 11:40 AM
Øyvind said...

I like that this one has been updated like this. I remember :

Oliver North: National Security was at stake.

=)

October 21, 2008 11:59 AM
hope said...

Too bad Einstein can't run for President...at least his viewpoint is "original". :)

October 21, 2008 12:43 PM
Ken Armstrong said...

The Bill Clinton Chicken crossed the road when it was raining...

... but it didn't in hail.

October 21, 2008 3:06 PM
Shinade said...

I love this one....it's just too too funny!!

http://shinade.blogspot.com

October 21, 2008 3:15 PM
Kim said...

I love this! I tweeted your URL to my twitter friends! Thanks!

October 21, 2008 4:50 PM
Jena Isle said...

What about this?

IRS or Rice?: I don't care why the chicken crossed the road, just make sure he pays taxes for crossing the road...(now, smile at least.)

Very funny post, and I had thought you had no sense of humor...(he he he)

October 21, 2008 6:48 PM
and god created woman... said...

:D Thats a damn good post! Hats off to you...



"Quack, quack"...is it the chicken? Oh man, no...its the duck the chicken has fallen for, they met each other in the washing room at the White house ;)

October 22, 2008 2:04 AM
Stud Kickass said...

Did Al Gore invent the chicken before or after he invented the egg?

October 25, 2008 12:37 AM
Koe Whitton-Williams said...

This is only hilarious. Nothing more. Nothing less. Just Hilarious.

October 27, 2008 6:53 PM

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