If...

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

2. You have to believe that businesses create depressions and governments create prosperity.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law abiding Americans are more of a threat than Nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Iranians and North Korean communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex--in the face of all the cases of teacher sex abuse of children in the news.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of New York, Boston, San Francisco, or Portland do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn esteem.

11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make 'The Passion of the Christ' for financial gain only.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and Alexander G. Bell.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge and not enough money was spent on its programs.

17. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.

18. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and in a normal marriage.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying transvestites in drag should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States

21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right-wing conspiracy.

22. You have to believe that it's OK to give Federal workers the day off on Christmas Day, but it's not OK to say 'Merry Christmas.'

If you believe more than half of these statements are true, you are a Democrat and should vote democratic in the election November 4. However, if you believe more than half of these statements are false, then you should vote Republican in the election on November 4 as you have more in common philosophically with the Republican Party.

Thanks for reading.

6 comments:

PaulsHealthBlog.com said...

Ha! Ha! Ha!

This is great!

And don't forget about Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae. If you are stupid enough to believe that fiasco was caused by "lack of regulation by the Republicans" then yes, you need to vote Democrat!

October 20, 2008 11:22 AM
Empty Streets said...

am a democrat hehe but somehow that still doesnt make me feel anymore confident than voting for a republican but then you think of Palin (no offense to those that support and like) but I think i'll stay purely democratic for now :)

October 20, 2008 12:17 PM
Roxy's Best Of... said...

Hey, Matt...interesting perspective. Much as I enjoy your forays into politics, I hope we'll see some whitewater photos from your recent trips soon. Just dropping by quickly from our NYC office on Monday afternoon. Hope all is well with you.

Roxy

P.S. -- Have you been keeping up on those other Desperate Housewives? I'm up to date as of last night's episode and I'm afraid I'm finding DH painfully too close to reality/the economy.

October 20, 2008 3:02 PM
hope said...

What an interesting start to my vacation! No, no white water rafting for me, thanks. I'm taking a week off from my desk and doing what I WANT to do instead of what I have to do. That means reading my favorite blogs. Thanks for helping us see the humor in politics.

My week has now begun with a grin...although the Obama Palin dancing duo had me laughing so hard I almost couldn't type.

October 20, 2008 5:51 PM
SizzlingPopcorn said...

According to this list, I'll have to vote Republican, but according to U.S. law, I can't cast a vote in Canada.

Our latest election, which was held last Tues. was a waste of time! Same party won a minority government (again), while picking up a few more seats.

October 20, 2008 9:04 PM
Carol said...

Thank you! There is a sane person in the 'sphere. My hope in humanity is renewed.

October 21, 2008 7:31 AM

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