Tagged with the LOVE Meme

My friend Roxiticus Desperate Housewives has tagged me, and in keeping with the tradition, I'm supposed to pour out my soul and answer ten questions truthfully and honestly--which I don't have a problem with, except that the topic is true love. As a guy, it's not something I discuss openly except with really good friends, so I'll try and answer the questions truthfully and completely, but with discretion and humor of a guy.

1. What does true love mean to you?
The Movie: The Princess Bride

2. How do you know you're really in love?
You give up time with your friends, poker, television, favorite hobbies to spend time with the one you love and her family and friends and do the things that she wants to do. But it's not a sacrifice because you want to be with her and do those things with her.

3. How many times in your life have you fallen in love?
Twice.

4. Have you ever fallen out of true love because you were mad at the moment?
No.

5. Do you feel love and physical attraction are the same thing?
No. A guy can be attracted to just about any one, but if he is honest with himself, there's only a very few people that have the complete set of qualities that press his love buttons and cause him to melt inside and go completely ga-ga in an adorable and child-like way.

6. If your true love became ill or disfigured would you continue to love them the same way?
This is an interesting question. If something like this happened to my true love, the answer would be, of course, yes. If my feelings changed after the disfigurement, it would indicate that the love was never really true love, at least in the romantic sense, right? Also, this question was raised dramatically in the movie The Fantastic Four. When Ben became this giant monster made from rock, his wife left him because she couldn't stand the disfigurement of his transformation. Ben was heartbroken. So was the wife, but she left him anyway. So was that really ture love? I think not.

7. Should anyone else be able to tell you who to love or not love?
Some cultures still permit this. It's called Matchmaking. And prior to this century in America, it was pretty commonplace, even here in the US among certain ethnic communities. Everyone has seen Fiddler on the Roof, right? There are benefits to matchmaking, and for some families and individuals it might work out very well. I can't say what's right for anyone else, but for me, the answer is no. I would very much appreciate it if my best friends were honest with me and told me if I were making a mistake...if I was being deceived, if something didn't seem right to them about the relationship. And I would listen to them to a point. But ultimately, who I love and who I don't is 100% my decision based on what I feel and what I value and what I believe to be there.

8. Do you believe people that ended up divorced were ever truly in love?
I believe they thought they were. My parents are better friends now than they ever were when they were married. My father's new wife and her ex are better friends now than they ever were when they were married. I don't think either of these relationships would be there if at some level love didn't exist. I know my father still loves my mother, and in another parallel universe, they're probably still married. I think it's possible for people to truly love each other, but once they really know each other, it might not be possible to live together. I thinking loving someone and living with someone might be two very related things, but just different enough that they cause the end to too many marriages.

9. Would you give up something you want for someone you love?
I believe I've already answered this question, above.

10. If you truly love someone do you feel it should be unconditional?
In principal, yes. There are things you can do to screw things up horribly, but at the end of the day, the feeling is either there or isn't. You can definitely be heartbroken and profoundly hurt and devastasted by your closest friends, family and the people you truly love. But we all have the capacity to hurt other people. If we truly love the people we hurt, and they truly love us, those feelings should not change. See question #8 above.

Thanks for reading.