Help Me, Help You



Julianne Hough's debut album is not only growing on me, it's embedding itself into my psyche. Help Me, Help You is a brilliant song about addiction. I know people with drug and alcohol problems. I've watched two of my own family members fall into the descent of alcohol abuse. When you're a child, it can be completely terrifying seeing a parent lying unconscious on the floor. And watching a brother follow that parent's footsteps and not knowing how to stop it is one of the most helpless feelings I've ever experienced.

I'm sure many of you know others who have battled with addiction as well. For me, one of the most frustrating things as I do my best to try to help them is that often they don't recognize that they have a problem at all. It's true, admission is the first step in dealing with addiction--and that is what Julianne Hough's Help Me, Help You is all about.

Go ahead, press play on the video. This is one song that all of us need to hear. We can all gain strength from the story Julianne tells in song, and use it as we try to help those whom we love.

What stories of addiction can you share here on MTMD, and what strategies did you use to help them help themselves? I'd really like to know.

Thanks for reading.

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7 comments:

Jena Isle said...

Hi Matt,

I had an uncle who was an alcoholic. We could not do anything as he refuses to acknowledge that he was one. We didn't force him to stay in any rehabilitation center as he behaves well
and does not harm anyone. He works conscientiously too. ..only he is often in a jocular mood. Up to the day he died, (God bless his soul) he was still an alcoholic.

July 25, 2008 8:08 AM
tasha said...

I'm trying to get my son to stop chewing tobacco, but he still chews. We even offered to help him pay for any treatments available to people with his kind of addiction, yet he doesn't accept the offer. We give up.

July 25, 2008 2:21 PM
SpicyBug said...

I've been dealing with my second son's addictions for years..been blogging about it since day one. Watching him destroy his life, and those around him and knowing there is nothing I can do is frustrating, heart breaking and scary.

July 25, 2008 3:31 PM
Amy Lilley Designs said...

OH Matt...you've REALLY opened the door this time...my husband is the Chaplin for Teen Challenge New England...TC is a faith based, world wide, 50 year old drug and alcohol re-hab,(started by David Wilkerson in Brooklyn because of the gangs) for men, women and a few centers for adolescents...the program is 15 months to 3 years...there are many, many wonderful and moving stories of complete rehabilitation and some very tragic stories as well. Jimmy (my husband), went thru the Philly TC 40 years ago and NEVER looked back....you would like him...he's one of the good guys. Now, all these years later, many of his peers who lived, are experiencing Hepatitis C and are on interfeuron...anywho, I will write more in the AM. I have a book I can send you, if you like w/ his testimony and that of a few others. Like I said, this can be quite the long winded topic and I'm tired...as a matter of fact, he is just on his way home from a 'graduation'...the stats for TC are good, but it's so hard. Oy.

July 25, 2008 8:54 PM
Roxiticus Desperate Housewives said...

Matt,
Everyone else in the house is asleep and I don't have my headphones, but I'm planning to come back and give it a listen over the weekend...thanks for the serious and helpful post.
Roxy

July 25, 2008 10:43 PM
Jena Isle said...

Hi Matt,

I was touched by this post and I know it should be read by other bloggers too, so I posted it at ENTREVIEW.COM . Here is the link:

http://entreview.com/story/title/meltwater-torrents-meanderings-delta-help-me-help-you

Thanks for sharing. Happy blogging.

July 26, 2008 7:36 AM
Matthew S. Urdan said...

Jena, thanks for sharing your story. I think yours is an example of good fortune as your uncle always behaved well. Many alcoholics suffer from mood swings, depression, anger, and more self-destructive behaviors. All things considered, at least your uncle seemed happy.

Tasha--tobacco addiction is hard. My mother has been wrestling with it for over 50 years and only now is making an effort to quit. At least with chewing tobacco there is no second hand smoke. Still, it can easily lead to gum disease and cancer in the mouth. Maybe try finding some pictures on the net of nasty mouth cancers and show them to your son...it might make an impression.

SpicyBug, I'm so sorry to hear that. What coping mechanisms do you use and what have you done to help him? With my brother, we're really at the point of tough love--he's 40 years old, still lives with my Dad and stepmother, Dad keeps bailing him out of all his issues, my brother eats my Dad out of house and home. My Dad is 76. I have no idea how my brother is going to get by after my Dad is gone. And Dad has to stop enabling him and start saying no if my brother is ever going to have a chance to live a life on his own, pay his bills, and have a place of his own to live.

Amy--I'd be interesting in reading the book...Email me privately and I'll send you my address.

Rox--well you know, every one in a while I can address a difficult topic. Julianne Hough gave me the opportunity.

Jena, that's awesome--thanks! I'll check it out!

July 26, 2008 8:05 AM

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